A businessman is called up for an IRS audit. He’s really flustered and goes to his accountant for advice.
“Make sure you dress up like a guy who is on the edge of losing money. It will convince the auditor that you are not hiding anything.”
Not satisfied, he goes to his lawyer. He is told: “Dress in your best suit. If you look like a confident businessman, they won’t give you too much trouble.”
Unable to make head or tails of this, he goes to his Rabbi. The Rabbi says: “You remind me of a young woman who came to me for advice. She was worried about what to wear for her wedding night. She aunt told her to dress plainly so her husband would think she was pure and innocent. Her mom told her to wear something revealing so he would be excited to be with her.”
The businessman is upset: “What does this have to do with me?”
The Rabbi replies: “Moshe, the advice I give you is the same thing I gave her: It doesn’t matter what you wear, you’re still going to get shtupped.”